Forget Crocs being sucked into escalator machinery. The real danger is losing the objective of fashion.

Every generation has suffered for fashion. Corsets, high heels, cosmetic surgery, anorexia, all of them drive home the point: gay men dictate what women should aspire to wear.

Then along comes the Aeron chair. Comfortable as heck, but ugly-ass future chic. And now comes Crocs.

Actually, I don’t know if Crocs are ugly; I’m a man, and I can only distinguish between seven different colors. But I do know that fashion is never comfortable, and Crocs are a sin.

Right now, I’m typing in front of my PC at home, in years-old house clothes. I’m comfortable as heck, and I’m not winning any fashion awards.

That’s why I’m inside the house!