A number of Ariel’s free fashion advice go like this:

  • To attract the attention of men, skip the lipstick and hang a Nintendo Wii around your neck.
  • The key to push-up bras is consistency. By wearing them every day, you will snag a man and they will only find out the truth when it is far too late.
  • Look fabulous every day. Who knows when you might meet an ex in the grocery? Remember: always define your existence based on the men in your life. And live in the past.
  • Forget moisturizer; always put on sunblock, instead.¬† Day and night, in clear skies or under flourescent lights, rub ample sunblock on your skin for the rest of your life. This advice is brought to you by Coppertone.
  • Buy cheap but branded make-up. Because your face only deserves the adequate.

PS Ariel and I are available for caricutton gigs. For interested parties and events organizers, email  us at beerkada@gmail.com.